


Reply All

by cherie_morte, stardustdean



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Art, Epistolary, M/M, Mixed Media, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22681795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherie_morte/pseuds/cherie_morte, https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustdean/pseuds/stardustdean
Summary: Jared and Jensen work at CardShark, an off-color version of Hallmark. Jared comes up with the ideas and text for cards. Jensen illustrates them.This is an epistolary story told through mixed media like greeting cards, emails, text messages, and other written materials.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 60
Kudos: 294





	1. Reply All

**Author's Note:**

> Created for the [Be Mine Valentine's Day Comment Meme](https://kelleigh.livejournal.com/360397.html) responding to the prompt: "[J2 work at Hallmark. Jared comes up with the ideas and text for cards. Jensen illustrates them. Valentines Day is THE WORST.](https://kelleigh.livejournal.com/360397.html?thread=4046285#t4046285)"
> 
> The idea to do this story as epistolary fic was [sweetheartdean](https://twitter.com/sweetheartdean)'s. I wrote the words, she did the art. We yelled ideas at each other in equal measure. I hope you enjoy reading/looking at this as much as we loved creating it!
> 
> We have tried to make this story as accessible as possible by including a second chapter that is only the text script and captions. Unfortunately the story does rely heavily on images, so it will likely be less enjoyable as a text-only experience, but please reach out to us if you are encountering accessibility issues or have ideas for a better way for us to do this so that the story can be enjoyed as much as possible without visual elements.

* * *

  


* * *

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 9:17 a.m. (3 hours ago)

Subject: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Hello Jared,

I’m not sure if you remember me, but this is Jensen from graphic design. We worked together in April on a few Halloween projects when your original artist went on emergency medical leave. Anyway, I just saw that we’ve been paired again for Valentine’s and I wanted to reach out to let you know I’m available to begin as soon as you are. I have a few ideas to get the ball rolling, but I’m really excited to hear what you’ve got in mind. I thought we worked well together, so I hope you’re looking forward to this as much as I am. 

Best,

Jensen

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 9:56 a.m. (2 hours ago)

Subject: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Dude!! Of course I remember you. That creepy candy corn you drew for my eye candy idea will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. I was thrilled when I saw the assignment just now. I was honestly kind of annoyed they didn’t match us up again for the holidays. The guy I worked with on Thanksgiving just was not stuffing my turkeys the way I know you would have. ;) I tried to say hi to you at the Christmas wrap party in July, but I think you left before I got a chance. It’ll be fun to catch up! 

Anyway, I definitely have a few ideas already and I’d love to hear what you’ve got in mind. Lunch? 

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:06 p.m. (23 minutes ago)

Subject: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Hey Jared, 

Really sorry I missed this until now. There was a crisis with a New Year design that was minutes from going to press. I can come to your office with apology sandwiches if it’s not too late?

\- J.A.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:09 p.m. (20 minutes ago)

Subject: re: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Never too late for you. Or your foot-longs, ifyaknowwhatImean. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:20 p.m. (9 minutes ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

I honestly have no idea what you mean, but I think it’s a yes to the sandwiches?

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:27 p.m. (2 minutes ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Hah, yeah. Sorry. It was a yes please to the sandwich.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 9:01 a.m. (8 hours ago)

Subject: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

To: Cardshark Employee Listserv (all.employees@cardshark.com)

Good morning all,

I hope you guys had a nice Labor Day and are feeling rested from the long weekend. It's the start of another week and you all know what that means.

UPDATES:

\- Our line of bird-inspired break-up cards are officially Cardshark's best selling non-holiday cards of the last five years! Congratulations to everyone who worked on that project, but especially Collins and Padalecki for coming up with the concept.  
\- All New Year's 2020 cards have gone to print. From this point on, if you realize you made a mistake on one of those, please keep it to yourself.  
\- We need to start proofing Valentine's cards by mid-September in order to shop them to vendors in a timely fashion. Where are we with those, people? So far I've only gotten finished products from Ackles and Padalecki.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 9:22 a.m. (8 hours ago)

Subject: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Murray, Chad (thechad@cardshark.com)

To: Cardshark Employee Listserv (all.employees@cardshark.com)

Boss, I also sent you a completed card last week and have still not heard back.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 9:26 a.m. (8 hours ago)

Subject: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

To: Cardshark Employee Listserv (all.employees@cardshark.com)

That reminds me: Chad Michael Murray will be attending a mandatory sexual harassment training on Wednesday, September 4 from 10 am – 4 p.m. and will not be at the staff meeting. If you are among the female employees who received a copy of his latest Valentine on your desk last Friday and would like to be added to the joint complaint against him, please contact Briana Buckmaster in HR (bribri@cardshark.com). As always, we apologize for Chad.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 10:37 a.m. (6 hours ago)

Subject: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

CC: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Attached:  Valentine_bear_final_final.jpg (370 KB) 

Hey Jeff,

Speaking of me and Jared's Valentine's so far—did you get a chance to look over the draft I sent you for Jared's bear idea last week? I made all the changes you asked for but we never heard back. Please see attached.

\- J.A.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 11:20 a.m. (6 hours ago)

Subject: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

CC: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Jared's bear idea is hardly an idea. You boys can do better. I get that you're going for bare/bear, but bears are always naked. You need to make it clearer that this one is naked in a sexy way. The text should be more straightforward.

Ackles, the way its covering its privates just makes it look like one of those bears from the toilet paper commercials who need to take a shit. Get me a better draft before lunch. Not approved.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 12:17 p.m. (5 hours ago)

Subject: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

CC: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Attached:  Valentine_bear_final_final_FINAL.jpg (370 KB) 

How's this?

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 12:24 p.m. (5 hours ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

CC: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

The drawing is MUCH better. Jared, your pun still sucks. Punch it up, kid. Not approved.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 2:59 p.m. (2 hours ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

CC: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Attached:  Valentine_bear_final_final_FINAL_FINALPLEASEGOD.jpg (370 KB) 

Sorry I struggled so much with this. I'm not feeling 100%. Jensen was kind enough to work with me on the pun. Did we get it where it needed to go yet, boss?

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 12:24 p.m. (5 hours ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

CC: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

It's good enough, but it's not your best work. Take the next few days off if you're sick. You're no use to any of us right now. Approved—just "bear"ly. Move onto something fresh. I'm as tired of staring at this little guy as Jensen is of drawing him.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 3:33 p.m. (1 hour ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Hey, don't take it personally, okay? He only nitpicks like this with people he knows are the best. I thought your pun was really cute.

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 3:44 p.m. (1 hour ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

How am I supposed to not take it personally? The bear has my haircut. :P

Thanks for saying all that, man, but you know he's right. I was deadweight today. It never would have gotten to approval without your help.

I'm really sorry to drop the ball like this, but I think Jeff is right. I gotta take a few days off. Hopefully I can come back next week with a clearer mind. 

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 4:12 p.m. (1 hour ago)

Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Do whatever you need to take care of yourself. I'll see what I can do while you're away to get us closer to quota. Feel better.

* * *

* * *

Monday, September 09, 2019, 10:23 a.m. (2 hours ago)

Subject: WELCOME BACK

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Attached:  moose_long_distance_Valentine_final.jpg (328 KB) 

Hey Jared,

I hope you're feeling better and that the pecan bars I sent over with Gen helped! It was hectic around here last week without you, but I did manage to stay somewhat on track. I made a Valentine for long distance couples. Jeff already signed off on it, but I'd love to hear what you think.

Monday, September 09, 2019, 10:25 a.m. (DRAFT DELETED)

Subject: re: WELCOME BACK

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

I guess you really missed me, huh?

Monday, September 09, 2019, 12:35 p.m. (1 minute ago)

Subject: re: WELCOME BACK

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

The moose card looks great! Listen, I know we have to stay late tonight to pick up my slack. Dinner's on me.

And yeah, the pecan bars definitely helped. I'm embarrassed to admit I already ate them all. They were delicious and that was really thoughtful of you. They tasted just like the ones I told you about that my grandma used to make. You didn't have to do all that. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Thursday, September 19, 2019, 1:33 p.m. (4 hours ago)

Subject: Valentine's Project Completion

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

To: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Attached:  Ackles_Padalecki_Valentines_2020_15.docx

Dear Jensen,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to confirm that we have completed our joint project for Valentine's Day 2020 and received all the necessary approvals. As of noon today, our quota of 15 cards has been met (see attached list of cards approved for production). Thank you for your enthusiasm, hard work, and for the many hours you put into this year's Valentine assignment with me. It was an honor to work with you and I look forward to any future collaborations.

Sincerely,  
Jared 

Thursday, September 19, 2019, 1:45 p.m. (DRAFT DELETED)

Subject: re: Valentine's Project Completion

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Jared, did I do something wrong? You've been kind of standoffish this week.

* * *

* * *

* * *

Thursday, September 26, 2019, 5:00 p.m. (2 hours ago)

Subject: One Last Valentine

From: Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Attached:  for_Jared.jpg (328 KB)

I hate that you stopped talking to me. I hope I'm right about why. My desk calendar told me I need to take more chances, so, uh…

I made one last Valentine. Would love to get your feedback on it.

* * *

* * *

* * *


	2. Reply All: TEXT ONLY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a repeat of the story with only the text and text descriptions of the images. No new content is added here, though descriptions of the images may highlight details you missed if you looked at the previous chapter.

An offer letter bearing the logo of Cardshark, INC. on the left top of the page, a happy purple shark with the words "CARD" and "SHARK" on either side of its top fin. The company's motto is on the right next to the logo. It says, "WHEN YOU CARE TOO MUCH TO JUST SEND BULLSHIT."

The letter reads:

February 14, 2019

CardShark, Inc.  
31719 Brothers Street  
Suite 327  
Austin, TX. 78701

** FROM THE DESK OF JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN, CEO **

Dear Mr. Padalecki,

Thank you for coming in to meet with us last Thursday, February 07, 2019. I speak for the entire hiring committee when I say that we were impressed with your past work experience, the way you represented yourself in your interview, and the positive remarks of your former supervisors and co-workers. We feel that you would fit in nicely with our other staff and have a lot of creativity to contribute.

On behalf of Cardshark, Inc., I would like to offer you the position of Greeting Card Writer in our design department. This position carries a starting annual salary of $50,000 which will be paid on the final business day of each month and is a full-time, benefited position. Please see http://employee.cardshark.com/benefits for more information about our benefit packages.

Now that all that legal nonsense is out of the way: welcome! As you already know, Cardshark is not a standard greeting card company. We expect your best ideas for funny, clever, and _adult_ greetings cards. We reward creators who think outside of the box to create cards for special occasions that reflect the unorthodox relationships of our ever evolving clientele.

We like to have a good time at Cardshark, but we also have high standards for quality as well as professional behavior within the work environment. Just because our cards have an after-hours feel to them does not mean that our office does. Please keep that in mind and be respectful and I know that we will all work wonderfully together.

If you would like to accept this position, please sign below and return this letter either in person or by email to hr@cardshark.com by March 01, 2019. We also recommend that you keep a copy of this document for your personal records.

Sincerely,

Jeffrey Dean Morgan  
Founder and CEO  
Cardshark, Inc.

 **Offer Accepted By:** Jared Padalecki  
**Date:** 2/15/2019

* * *

A long thread of emails. They read:

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 9:17 a.m. (3 hours ago)

 **Subject:** Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Hello Jared,

I’m not sure if you remember me, but this is Jensen from graphic design. We worked together in April on a few Halloween projects when your original artist went on emergency medical leave. Anyway, I just saw that we’ve been paired again for Valentine’s and I wanted to reach out to let you know I’m available to begin as soon as you are. I have a few ideas to get the ball rolling, but I’m really excited to hear what you’ve got in mind. I thought we worked well together, so I hope you’re looking forward to this as much as I am.

Best,  
Jensen

\---  
Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 9:56 a.m. (2 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Dude!! Of course I remember you. That creepy candy corn you drew for my eye candy idea will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. I was thrilled when I saw the assignment just now. I was honestly kind of annoyed they didn’t match us up again for the holidays. The guy I worked with on Thanksgiving just was not stuffing my turkeys the way I know you would have. ;) I tried to say hi to you at the Christmas wrap party in July, but I think you left before I got a chance. It’ll be fun to catch up! 

Anyway, I definitely have a few ideas already and I’d love to hear what you’ve got in mind. Lunch?

\---

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:06 p.m. (23 minutes ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Hey Jared,

Really sorry I missed this until now. There was a crisis with a New Year design that was minutes from going to press. I can come to your office with apology sandwiches if it’s not too late?

\- J.A.

\---  
Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:09 p.m. (20 minutes ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Never too late for you. Or your foot-longs, ifyaknowwhatImean.

\---

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:20 p.m. (9 minutes ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

I honestly have no idea what you mean, but I think it’s a yes to the sandwiches?

\---

Wednesday, August 14, 2019, 12:27 p.m. (2 minutes ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: re: Valentine's Day 2020 Project Launch  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

Hah, yeah. Sorry. It was a yes please to the sandwich.

* * *

Three pages of Jensen's bullet journal are shown. He is meticulous in his daily logging but his journal has a lot of cute doodles of the things he talks about.

On the first page, we see a large fork doodle, renderings of his daily meals, and at the bottom the following lyrics from Kaleo's song Glass House: "So keep on walking/ You know I'm doing the best I can/ oh yeah!" It reads:

8/28/19

~*WEDNESDAY*~

Sleep: 7 hours, 37 minutes (sleep score 76 per fitbit)  
Weather: Sunny, 93 degrees

Breakfast: half a grapefruit  
Lunch: small cup tomato soup, half a grilled cheese sandwich  
Dinner: leftover pork chop, arugula salad, quinoa

Gym: Treadmill, 1.5 hours 

TO-DO:

X Finish squirrel Valentine card  
X Draft bird and bee Valentine card  
__ Get approval from JDM for Jared’s bear idea  
X Pick up milk, toilet paper  
__ Ask Jared out

Best of today:  
\- Jared & I are on a roll  
\- He did that "hah hah hah" laugh at something I said during a meeting  
\- Found parking spot at grocery store right by entrance without even trying

Worst of today:  
\- Completely hopeless  
\- Just ask him out  
\- you're pathetic, Ackles :(

On the second page, there is a stain from the bottom of a mug across most of the bottom of the page. Jensen has again illustrated his meals (including with a smiling shrimp) and he has drawn various pieces of clothing next to the section that mentions his laundry. At the bottom of the page is a slight rendering of Jared with broken hearts around it. There is a tombstone that says R.I.P. next to the "Worst of Today" section.

It reads:

8/29/19

~*THURSDAY*~

Sleep: 5 hours, 49 minutes (sleep score 57 per fitbit)  
Weather: Cloudy, 86 degrees

Breakfast: half a grapefruit  
Lunch: skipped (BAD!!!)  
Dinner: Garlic shrimp pasta (4.5/5 stars, would make a great date dinner)

Gym: Treadmill, 1 hour; weights, 45 min. 

TO-DO:

__ Finish bird and bee Valentine card  
__ Get approval from JDM for Jared’s bear idea  
X Laundry  
__ Fold laundry  
__ Ask Jared out

Best of today:  
\- they finally fixed the printer on floor 3  
\- working session with Jared from 2-3 pm  
\- he wore the really tight jeans

Worst of today:  
\- Still haven't asked him out.  
\- Going to die alone  
\- Valentine's Day is the WORST (even in August)

The third page starts with a confetti exclamation that says "FRI-YAY." There are some doodles of take-out containers, but almost all of the page that is not taken up by writing is a detailed portrait of Jared with a slight smile and blushy cheeks. This took time to draw and it is the only page where two colors were used (most of the pages are written in blue, this page is written in blue with red accents on and around Jared).

It reads:

8/30/19

~*FRIDAY*~

Sleep: 8 hours, 12 minutes (sleep score 73 per fitbit)  
Weather: Rain, 88 degrees

Breakfast: protein shake  
Lunch: chef salad  
Dinner: ordered takeout from Chau's (orange chicken, white rice, steamed veggie dumplings)

Gym: Treadmill, 1.5 hours 

TO-DO:

X Finish bird and bee Valentine card  
__ Get approval from JDM for Jared’s bear idea  
X Fold laundry  
~~__ Ask Jared out~~

Best of today:  
\- T.G.I.F.!!!

Worst of today:  
\- Don't see Jared on the weekend  
\- Pretty sure he's straight  
\- Definitely gonna die alone.

* * *

We see a card of a suspiciously Jensen-like squirrel holding out a heart-shaped acorn that says "you make my heart nut."

* * *

Two phone screens are shown having a text conversation on Friday, August 30 at 3:53 PM. The contact name is Danneel H. 

DANNEEL  
Just saw your latest Valentine's cards. There something you're trying to say?  
  
JENSEN  
???  
  
DANNEEL  
Everything you draw looks like you and Jared.  
  
JENSEN  
I drew a bunch of animals, Dani.  
  
DANNEEL  
The horny squirrel has freckles.  
  
JENSEN  
So?  
  
DANNEEL  
The bee with the very large stinger has a mole just like Jared's.  
(in a separate text) and the bird he's stinging also has freckles.  
  
JENSEN  
You're reading too much into this.  
  
DANNEEL  
How sexually frustrated does a guy have to [bee emoji]?  
  
JENSEN  
I'm not sexually frustrated. The bee looks nothing like Jared.  
  
DANNEEL  
[eggplant emoji x5]  
[bird and bee emojis]  
[squirt emoji x8]  
  
JENSEN  
I'm blocking your number.  
  
DANNEEL  
Just ask him out, loser.

* * *

  


Another series of emails. They read:

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 9:01 a.m. (8 hours ago)

 **Subject:** Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Cardshark Employee Listserv (all.employees@cardshark.com)

Good morning all,

I hope you guys had a nice Labor Day and are feeling rested from the long weekend. It's the start of another week and you all know what that means.

UPDATES:  
\- Our line of bird-inspired break-up cards are officially Cardshark's best selling non-holiday cards of the last five years! Congratulations to everyone who worked on that project, but especially Collins and Padalecki for coming up with the concept.  
\- All New Year's 2020 cards have gone to print. From this point on, if you realize you made a mistake on one of those, please keep it to yourself.  
\- We need to start proofing Valentine's cards by mid-September in order to shop them to vendors in a timely fashion. Where are we with those, people? So far I've only gotten finished products from Ackles and Padalecki.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 9:22 a.m. (8 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Murray, Chad (thechad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Cardshark Employee Listserv (all.employees@cardshark.com)

Boss, I also sent you a completed card last week and have still not heard back.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 9:26 a.m. (8 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Cardshark Employee Listserv (all.employees@cardshark.com)

That reminds me: Chad Michael Murray will be attending a mandatory sexual harassment training on Wednesday, September 4 from 10 am – 4 p.m. and will not be at the staff meeting. If you are among the female employees who received a copy of his latest Valentine on your desk last Friday and would like to be added to the joint complaint against him, please contact Briana Buckmaster in HR (bribri@cardshark.com). As always, we apologize for Chad.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 10:37 a.m. (6 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**CC:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**Attached:** Valentine_bear_final_final.png (370 KB)

Hey Jeff,

Speaking of me and Jared's Valentines so far—did you get a chance to look over the draft I sent you for Jared's bear idea last week? I made all the changes you asked for but we never heard back. Please see attached.

\- J.A.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 11:20 a.m. (6 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**CC:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Jared's bear idea is hardly an idea. You boys can do better. I get that you're going for bare/bear, but bears are always naked. You need to make it clearer that this one is naked in a sexy way. The text should be more straightforward.

Ackles, the way its covering its privates just makes it look like one of those bears from the toilet paper commercials who need to take a shit. Get me a better draft before lunch. Not approved.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 12:17 p.m. (5 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**CC:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**Attached:** Valentine_bear_final_final_FINAL.jpg (370 KB)

How's this one?

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 12:24 p.m. (5 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**CC:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

The drawing is MUCH better. Jared, your pun still sucks. Punch it up, kid. Not approved.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 2:59 p.m. (2 hours ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**CC:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**Attached:** Valentine_bear_final_final_FINAL_FINALPLEASEGOD.jpg (370 KB)

Sorry I struggled so much with this. I'm not feeling 100%. Jensen was kind enough to work with me on the pun. Did we get it where it needed to go yet, boss?

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 3:27 p.m. (1 hour ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Morgan, Jeffrey (eljefe@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**CC:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

It's good enough, but it's not your best work. Take the next few days off if you're sick. You're no use to any of us right now. Approved—just "bear"ly. Move onto something fresh. I'm as tired of staring at this little guy as Jensen is of drawing him.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 3:33 p.m. (1 hour ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Hey, don't take it personally, okay? He only nitpicks like this with people he knows are the best. I thought your pun was really cute.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 3:44 p.m. (1 hour ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

How am I supposed to not take it personally? The bear has my haircut. :P

Thanks for saying all that, man, but you know he's right. I was deadweight today. It never would have gotten to approval without your help.

I'm really sorry to drop the ball like this, but I think Jeff is right. I gotta take a few days off. Hopefully I can come back next week with a clearer mind.

\---

Tuesday, September 03, 2019, 4:12 p.m. (1 hour ago)

 **Subject:** re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: Week of September 3 Company Wide Check-In  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Do whatever you need to take care of yourself. I'll see what I can do while you're away to get us closer to quota. Feel better.

* * *

A recipe card from the kitchen of Linda Ackles. Although the writing is tidy and obviously done with care, there are some light stains and the coloring of the card suggests that it is aged. The front of the card has the ingredients, dish name, time, and yield information. The back of the card has the steps.

It reads:

**Salted Caramel and Chocolate Pecan Pie Bars**

**YIELD:** ONE 8-BY-8-INCH PAN, 9 TO 12 VERY GENEROUS SQUARES  
**TOTAL TIME:** ABOUT 4+ HOURS, FOR COOLING AND SETTING UP  
**PREP TIME:** 20 MINTUES  
**COOK TIME:** ABOUT 30 TO 32 MINUTES

**INGREDIENTS:**

Crust  
1/2 cup unsalted butter, very soft (1 stick)  
1 cup all-purpose flour  
1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar  
1 tablespoon cornstarch  
pinch salt, optional and to taste

Filling  
8 ounces roasted salted pecans, halves or pieces okay; about 2 cups  
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips  
1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick)  
1 cup light brown sugar, packed  
1/3 cup whipping cream or heavy cream  
1 tablespoon vanilla extract  
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste

**DIRECTIONS:**

1) Preheat oven to 350F. Line an 8-by-8-inch baking pan with aluminum foil, spray with cooking spray; set aside.  
2) Crust – In a large bowl, combine all crust ingredients and mix butter into dry ingredients until evenly distributed and pea-sized lumps and sandy bits form.  
3) Turn mixture out into prepared pan and pack down firmly to create an even, uniform, flat crust layer.  
4) Filling – Evenly sprinkle the pecans. Evenly sprinkle with the chocolate chips; set pan aside.  
5) In a large, microwave-safe bowl, combine 1/2 cup butter, brown sugar, whipping cream, and heat on high power for 1 minute to melt.  
6) Remove bowl from micro, and whisk until mixture is smooth.  
7) Return bowl to microwave and heat for 1 minute on high power.  
8) Remove bowl from micro, and whisk until mixture is smooth.  
9) Whisk in the vanilla and salt.  
10) Slowly and evenly pour the caramel sauce over the chocolate chips and pecans.  
11) Place pan on a cookie sheet (as insurance against overflow) and bake for about 30 to 32 minutes, or until caramel is bubbling vigorously around edges, with bubbling to a lesser degree in center.  
12) Allow bars to cool in pan on a wire rack for at least 3 hours before slicing and serving.

* * *

Another email chain. It reads:

Monday, September 09, 2019, 10:23 a.m. (2 hours ago)

 **Subject:** WELCOME BACK  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**Attached:** moose_long_distance_Valentine_final.jpg (328 KB)

Hey Jared,

I hope you're feeling better and that the pecan bars I sent over with Gen helped! It was hectic around here last week without you, but I did manage to stay somewhat on track. I made a Valentine for long distance couples. Jeff already signed off on it, but I'd love to hear what you think.

\---

We see the card that is attached to this email and it is a moose with very large antlers and a decidedly Jared-like hairstyle and mole. There are hearts around its head and it says, "I moose you, Valentine."

\---

Monday, September 09, 2019, 10:25 a.m. (DRAFT DELETED)

 **Subject:** re: WELCOME BACK  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

I guess you really missed me, huh?

\---

Monday, September 09, 2019, 12:35 p.m. (1 minute ago)

 **Subject:** re: WELCOME BACK  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)

The moose card looks great! Listen, I know we have to stay late tonight to pick up my slack. Dinner's on me.

And yeah, the pecan bars definitely helped. I'm embarrassed to admit I already ate them all. They were delicious and that was really thoughtful of you. They tasted just like the ones I told you about that my grandma used to make. You didn't have to do all that.

* * *

There is a bright yellow and orange menu from Jared and Jensen's late night brainstorming session. It is from A Slice of Dick, a pizzeria located on Wesson Street in Austin, TX. The menu requests that you let your server know of any dietary needs. The dishes are under five categories: pizza, specials, pastas, beverages, and desserts. The dishes all have highly suggestive names or descriptions, prompting Jared to write "LOL THIS JOINT IS INSPIRING" next to the description for Dick Pasta (You already know what this pasta is shaped as. You know.)

We get some sense of Jared and Jensen's pizza orders from the circle around Italian Meatball and Jared's handwriting pointing to it saying "MY OPINION IS YES." The "lover" in Pepperoni Lover is underlined twice by Jensen's blue pen and he has written "so. fucking. good." next to it. They probably also ordered the Cinnamon Pullaparts from the desserts section, because once again Jensen has double underlined it with a note that reads "yeah this thing is as sticky as advertised." It looks like Jensen got some caffeine to stay up because the americano option is circled under coffee in the beverages section. At the top we see some red fingerprints from somebody touching the menu with pizza grease on their hands.

There is some bantering between the boys hinted at. Next to the name of the restaurant (A Slice of Dick), Jared has written "A HORRIFYING CONCEPT BUT DELISH PIZZ." Under that, Jensen wrote "wooooow please don't say "pizz" ever again" and Jared has responded under that "U MEAN "PLZZ?" Jensen has drawn a very pensive cartoon version of Jared that is titled "Mr. Padalecki Lameting the Lack of Cheesy Sauce For His Fries, oil on canvas, 2019" and next to it Jared wrote "WOW...THAT'S REALLY COOL. NO ONE'S EVER DRAWN ME BEFORE." Our hearts break as we consider Jensen's response to that considering what his bullet journal looks like.

Despite their playing around, there is evidence that real work was done. Jensen has doodled a delighted mouse staring adoringly at a block of cheese and a hand taking a slice of pizza dripping with cheese. Jared wrote "YOU MAKE ME CHEESY!!!!! FUCK THAT'S CUTE." He did get a little sidetracked...the mouse's tail is circled and Jared wrote a note saying, "AHEM WHY DOES THIS MOUSE HAVE THE DEVIL'S TAIL?" Jensen responded, "That's a heart, you uncultured swine!" (the heart overlaps with the tail so it looks like the tail is pointed). Next to the sticky Cinnamon Pullaparts option, Jensen has drawn a penis-shaped slice of pizza, which Jared has given the text "YOU MAKE MY CRUST RISE. HUEHUEHUE." There is also a heart shaped pizza with a slice being taken out of it that says "you have a pizza my heart."

* * *

A phone showing a text conversation on Tuesday, September 10 at 11:10 AM. The contact name is Jensen with a fire and a hearteyes emoji in parenthesis. 

JARED  
Last night was great.  
(separate text) I'm really excited to see the ideas we came up with once you've drawn them.  
(separate text) I think we work really well together.

JENSEN  
I had fun! Thx for the pizza.

JARED  
No problem.  
(separate text) Was a relief that you had such good taste in toppings.

There is a break of several hours. At 2:16 PM, Jared summons the courage to follow-up:

JARED  
I hope we can do it again sometime?

JENSEN  
You HOPE we have to work late again?

* * *

A spiral notebook left open on a kitchen counter. There are things scattered messily around it: keys, orange headphones, the tip of a water bottle, and a ripped open envelope. It's a stark contrast from Jensen's neat journal. Most of the page it is open to is occupied by a YES/NO list where Jared has pitched himself the question: THE DESIGN GUY LOOKS LIKE APOLLO'S HOTTER BROTHER. SHOULD I ASK HIM OUT? There are updates to this list with dates from April until the current week in September. The updates are written in different pens/pencils, whatever was around at the time.

On the left column: YES!  
4/17: totally got my eye candy idea  
4/21: responds to my emails right away (even on weekend)  
8/14: we're paired for Valentine's. He seems EXCITED.  
9/3: went out of his way to make me feel better about the bear card  
9/5: he baked me grandma's pecan bars?!! ♥_♥  
9/9: I'm pretty sure that moose means he missed me. ♥ 

On the right column: NAH!  
4/30: Project ended. Not enough data.  
5/28: He hasn't talked to me since. Must've been imagining it.  
7/25: left Christmas party just as I was coming to say hi. Did he see me???  
8/14: never mind. I blew it. He hates me. I'm a sandwich pervert.  
9/10: asked him out. got rejected. :(

In the same red pen that the last note is made in, the entire yes column has been Xed out and the "Nah!" at the top of the no column has been circled.

There are all kinds of notes scribbled around this page, which it appears that the water bottle has leaked on. VET APPOINTMENT NEXT THURS. 5/16 @ 4:20 PM is written in black permanent marker on the bottom right corner, while the top of the page has a NOTE TO SELF that says PIRANHA HATS in pencil. In purple pen, a follow-up note has been written "NOTE TO SELF: LEAVE MORE CONTEXT WHEN YOU MAKE NOTE TO YOURSELF." In the same purple pen, a parenthesis next to the original note has been added that says (??? what does this mean?)

On the opposite page there are months worth of silly things Jared must have absentmindedly written while ruminating over whether to ask Jensen out. In the pencil that the original list was set up in, Jared has written lyrics from Kaleo's Glass House: "Fortune's fade in love/ fortune only favors me/ I'm sick of waiting/ for you to come and fill my need." The purple that corresponds to his first follow-up note in May has a large cloud with JARED ♥ JENSEN inside it. In the bright green pen that is used for most of the notes during their Valentine's project, there is a circle full of hearts that says MR. JARED ACKLES inside it and next to that there's a brown smudge that has been circled and "BEST SMUDGE EVER" is written above it with an arrow pointing to it. Under the smudge, Jared wrote "SMUDGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY JENSEN'S PECAN BARS." The last doodle on this page is a broken heart drawn in the red pen Jared used to make his last note. Half of the heart is colored in while the other half is empty.

* * *

Two emails:

Thursday, September 19, 2019, 1:33 p.m. (4 hours ago)

 **Subject:** Valentine's Project Completion  
**From:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**Attached:** Ackles_Padalecki_Valentines_2020_15.docx

Dear Jensen,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to confirm that we have completed our joint project for Valentine's Day 2020 and received all the necessary approvals. As of noon today, our quota of 15 cards has been met (see attached list of cards approved for production). Thank you for your enthusiasm, hard work, and for the many hours you put into this year's Valentine assignment with me. It was an honor to work with you and I look forward to any future collaborations.

Sincerely,  
Jared  
\--

Thursday, September 19, 2019, 1:45 p.m. (DRAFT DELETED)

 **Subject:** re: Valentine's Project Completion  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)

Jared, did I do something wrong? You've been kind of standoffish this week.

* * *

A long text conversation on Thursday, September 12 at 2:23 PM. The contact is Gen (WORK).

GEN  
So when is your idiot friend going to ask out my idiot friend?  
(separate text) I'm getting tired of all the gay angsting.

DANNEEL  
God, please.  
(separate text) Why doesn't yours go first? I got the dumb one.

GEN  
Jared already tried asking Jensen out. Apparently Jensen turned him down. He's being a real sad Zach about it.  
(separate text) * sack  
(separate text) I've seen those two in a room together, so I figure there's no way Jensen ACTUALLY turned him down?

DANNEEL  
When did he ask Jensen out? Jensen did not get the memo.

GEN  
Last week, over pizza?  
(separate text) Or something?  
(separate text) There's also the sandwich. Between the pizza and the sandwich, I think Jared is done trying his luck.

DANNEEL  
...[sandwich emoji]?

GEN  
Jared thinks he sexually harassed Jensen with a sandwich and now Jensen will never love him.

DANNEEL  
With a sandwich?

GEN  
You haven't heard about the sandwich? The hours of my life I have spent dissecting this sandwich.

DANNEEL  
What r u talking about?

GEN  
Jared tried to flirt with Jensen a few weeks ago by making a comment about a sandwich. And Jensen either completely shut him down or did not get that Jared was hitting on him. We have debated it ad nauseam.  
(separate text) ...  
(separate text) You're serious Jensen has never mentioned this sandwich to you? It's all I hear about.

DANNEEL  
[sandwich emoji x3] no but I am getting hungry

GEN  
You would think Jensen brought all the power of HR down on Jared with how freaked out he got by Jensen's response to the sandwich.

DANNEEL  
This is so stupid.  
(separate text) I'm lovin' it [french fries emoji]  
(separate text) Jensen definitely did not feel harassed over a sandwich.

GEN  
Great.  
(separate text) Well.  
(separate text) Jared thinks he's been coming on too strong and making Jensen uncomfortable.

DANNEEL  
Jensen's just oblivious. If anything, Jared's not coming on strong ENOUGH.

GEN  
Right, so.  
(separate text) Can you just get Jensen to do the asking? That'll clear things right up.

DANNEEL  
[woman making x arms emoji] [crossed out circle emoji] x3  
(separate text) No can do.  
(separate text) Jensen is CONVINCED Jared is straight, lol

GEN  
What? Wasn't he at that meeting where Jared was rushing to give a presentation so he shoved an entire hotdog in his mouth?

DANNEEL  
heh heh heh [hotdog emoji x3]  
(separate text) apparently Jared made an offhand mention of a girl he dated in high school once, so now he must be straight  
(separate text) Men are too stupid to live. [there is a clapping hands emoji between each word in this text and it ends with a rainbow and sparkle emoji repeated twice followed by the confetti emoji]

GEN  
[a gif from Brooklyn 99 that says "TOTALLY AGREE"]

* * *

A desk calendar page from Thursday, September 26, 2019. It is from one of those cheesy daily quote calendars and today's quote is: "Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

* * *

One last email:

Thursday, September 26, 2019, 5:00 p.m. (2 hours ago)

 **Subject:** One Last Valentine  
**From:** Ackles, Jensen (thejackle@cardshark.com)  
**To:** Padalecki, Jared (jarpad@cardshark.com)  
**Attached:** for_Jared.psd

I hate that you stopped talking to me. I hope I'm right about why. My desk calendar told me I need to take more chances, so, uh…

I made one last Valentine. Would love to get your feedback on it.

\---

We see the card that is attached to this email. It is the very Jensenlike squirrel from the first card sitting on the Jaredlike moose's back and holding its heart shaped nut out to the moose, who is blushing. At the top it simply says, "I think maybe I love you." Love is in red while the rest of the text is in black. On the other cards we have seen, Jensen has done this to draw attention to the silly pun, but now it's drawing attention to something a little more earnest.

* * *

A tweet on January 29, 2020 from @Cardshark (a verified Twitter account):

Are you ready for [double heart emoji]? Cardshark's new Valentine's Day cards tell the people in your life how much they mean. Whether you're long distance, poly, LGBTQ, or just plain weird, we have a card to say exactly how you feel. Browse 30+ new designs to choose from! https://www.cardshark.com/valentines

The tweet has 19 retweets and 37 likes so far. It looks like 5 people have commented on it. Attached to it are previews of some of the cards being sold by Cardshark this year, including the "I moose you" card Jensen made when Jensen was sick. In the other three, you can see two female beavers, a blond narwhal, and a heart-shaped pizza missing a slice, but Twitter has cropped the images so that you cannot see the puns on them.

* * *

We see Cardshark's webpage and it is open to the Valentine's section where the cards previously only partially seen in the tweet are now fully visible. The page is titled HAPPY VALENTINE'S, LOVERS! and each card sells for $5.99. Jensen's "I moose you" card is a best seller. Its caption is I Moose You Valentine Cute Valentine's Day Card Long Distance Relationship.

The narwhal has spiky blond hair and a distinctly Chad Michael Murray-esque leer on his face. He is doing finger guns with his fins and the card says, "You make me horny." Its caption is You Make Me Horny Funny Valentine's Day Card.

The two lady beavers look kind of like Genevieve and Danneel, one with red hair and the other, clutching her face happily, with brown hair. There is a red heart between them. The text reads, "You look dam fine, Valentine." Its caption is You Look Dam Fine Sweet Valentine's Day Card Same Sex Couple.

The heart-shaped pizza card is from Jared and Jensen's late-night session and we have seen the pun before on the menu. It says "You have a pizza my heart." Its caption is You Have A Pizza My Heart Loving Valentine's Day Card.

* * *

The final image is the desktop screen of Jensen Ackles at 5:45 p.m. on Friday, February 14, 2020. It's a Mac and has several apps at the bottom, mostly photo editing programs. The background image is a photo of Jared and Jensen on their way home from Disney World. Jensen is wearing a black shirt and green jacket and has his eyes closed with a very blissful expression as Jared, who is wearing a bright orange shirt and holding onto Jensen's shoulder, gives him a kiss on the cheek. He has a purple Mickey Mouse balloon floating behind him.


End file.
